I just wanted to let my readers know that I haven’t already forgotten about this blog again. We’ve just had a sudden schedule change that has completely thrown me for a loop, so I’m still working to readjust to it, and get past the daily migraines and stomach upset it seems to have created. Bear with me. I’m doing my best just to exist in the real world at this point, and fulfill all of my domestic obligations. I’ll be back soon. I promise!
Shortly after my alarm went off this morning, we had an earthquake here. It wasn’t much by the time it reached where we live, but I definitely noticed it. I heard it before I felt it, because it sounded like a big gust of wind hit our outside wall and made it crack and groan, and then our bed started to shake slightly. The shaking felt like my dog was scratching an itch near her tail and really getting into it, but she was snuggled up sleeping still.
I had time to open my ABC7 news app on my iPhone and look at the QuakeCam they have on there, and when I first started the live feed, it was still, but within a few seconds, it started jiggling all over. It took a few minutes for all of the local news stations to start reporting on it, but the comments people have written on Facebook have been positively epic! Props to this guy. It’s my favorite.
A lot of people are freaking out because it happened during El Niño storms. I don’t understand the superstition thinking behind that, but I’ll let them have their panic attacks, if that’s what they really want. Speaking of El Niño, we had a nice, long rain yesterday, and it’s already raining again this morning. I had time to run down to the laundry room and wash some rugs before the rain hit, so I’m glad I got it done first thing this morning. I’m not going to attempt any more loads of laundry today, because they’ll just get drenched on their way back to my apartment from the laundry room. I want a washer/dryer in my apartment, dammit!
Just for your amusement, I’ll leave you with this screenshot I took of the ABC7 QuakeCam.
Yesterday, I had to make a run to our local post office to pick up a couple of packages they had attempted to deliver while I was gone over the holidays. Our post office isn’t very far away. I’d guess maybe a mile or just slightly over that. Anyway, I live on a street with two schools on it, and our apartment complex is basically sandwiched between them. I was pulling out of the driveway, and I stopped at the street to check for traffic before pulling out when a silver Honda CR-V flew past me followed by at least six police cruisers – lights, sirens, the whole nine yards. At first it didn’t dawn on me that a police chase was happening right in front of me, because my very first thought was, “Wow! Those cops must have an urgent call to be flying down THIS street that fast!” which was followed not even a second later by, “Oh holy shit! They’re chasing that guy!” I checked again to make sure no one was coming and made my right turn into the street, going the same direction the maniac and police cruisers had gone, and when I got to the stop light at the corner, I noticed the idiot in the CR-V had plowed down all of the signs and shrubbery in front of the school there. They were all laying out in the street. Three more police cruisers quickly flew past me while I was waiting at the light, driving balls the walls down the street in front of me. At that point, I decided it may be a good idea to turn off my radio and crack my windows so I can listen for them in case that imbecile decides to come back in my direction.
Luckily for me, that was the last I saw of them, but after I stopped at the post office I had to run to the bank, which is a few miles away in a different city. As I was driving down the main road to get there, I started seeing small chunks of tires and car body, a headlight, and other debris strewn across the lanes I was in. Needless to say, this shook me up quite a bit, because I usually observe this sort of Southern California insanity from the comfort and safety of my own living room, rather than physically in person. Had I been even thirty seconds faster in leaving my apartment complex, this jackass could very well have hit me on the street while I was driving. I definitely consider myself quite lucky.
One of the packages I got at the post office was the Christmas present my husband’s aunt sent us. I love this! It’s the coolest idea ever, because we will use it the entire year, and she knew it. I was so excited when I opened the envelope and saw it, because I love looking at scenery photos.
How awesome is that?! We have a Swiss calendar, in French and German, to use this year. What’s really cool about it is that I had told myself yesterday morning, before heading out to run these errands, that I should really stop at the store and buy a new 2016 calendar. Now, I don’t need to.
El Niño has finally arrived here in Southern California, and I’m so stinkin’ excited about the rain, you have no idea! I planned this week’s meals around the weather, and today it finally decided to rain on us, so I’ll be making split pea and ham soup in my Crock Pot. I’ve mostly held off on my soups and chili this year, because I didn’t want us to get tired of them before the rain came. Now, it’s here, and I’m taking full advantage of it!
I give up. I’m not even going to apologize for my long absence. I got so busy, and neglected a few things, including this blog. But, on my list of New Year’s Resolutions, I included “Blogging regularly” as one of the things I’d like to accomplish this year, so I’m going to put a lot more effort into staying on top of my little blog here.
Like I said, I’ve been busy the last half of 2015. My son is in 3rd grade this year, and school is starting to become more intense for both him and me. I’ve had family out to visit us several times since I last posted, including my little sister and her husband, just in time to throw her a killer birthday party. My man-child and I took a road trip back to Texas for Christmas to see family and friends, and my husband and I quietly rang in the New Year with a bottle of Champagne and then fell asleep.
Did you notice the part of the title about craziness? I’ll get to that now. I think I mentally blocked out a lot of the shit in my life before we moved here to SoCal, and it all came back to the surface over my Christmas trip back home. My mother flew out here to drive back to Texas with me, since my husband had to stay here to work. The idea was that she would drive back out here with me, as well, and then fly home when the trip was over, but that never happened. My mother also invited her sister down to her house for Christmas. This sister hasn’t been in contact with my mother for 23 years and she flew down from Denver to spend 5 days with us. For all the stories I’ve heard over the years about her, my aunt is actually pretty freakin’ awesome! At least I think so. I thoroughly enjoyed the time I got to spend with her before Christmas. My mother, on the other hand… Where do I even start with my fucking mother?!
I won’t sugar-coat this. My mom is borderline psychotic, and sometimes she crosses way over that line into full, mentally unstable psychosis. The week of Christmas was one of those times, and I finally just decided I’ve had enough of her shit. I’m done and I’m over it all. The Wednesday evening before Christmas, my mother took my aunt out to see a local Christmas lights attraction, and it is my understanding that on the drive to the location, they got into a discussion about whether or not the Bible condones divorce in any circumstance, and shit went downhill from there. I should note here that my mother is a one-time divorced woman and my aunt has been divorced twice. The discussion turned heated, and at that point my mother pulled over on the side of the interstate, called the police, and kicked my aunt out of her car. She then went back home, packed up all of my aunt’s luggage, and threw it out with my aunt on the side of the road. Since I’m not a shitty person and would never leave a family member stranded on the side of the road, hundreds of miles from home, with no way to get back, I went and picked my aunt up and drove her back to the airport that night. Apparently, being a decent human crosses a major line with my mother, because when I finally got back to her house after midnight, she tried to start a fight with me about it all. I managed to defuse it at that time by telling her I refused to discuss it with her then, but the following morning all hell broke loose. We were at my little sister’s house for the gift exchange, and my mother decided to get into a physical fight with me in front of my child because I took my aunt to the airport. I never once hit her, but every time she stood on top of me and tried to punch me, I pushed her off of me. She stumbled into my sister’s dining table several times. I was completely devastated and shaken apart over the entire ordeal. I ended up leaving to come home a day early, and wasn’t able to calm down and stop freaking out until I reached the other end of the state.
This brings me to another New Year’s Resolution I’ve made. I have decided that because my mother always causes and starts so many fights in our family and is just a downright nasty person on more occasions than I care to actually admit to, I’m done with her. I will be sending her a letter, informing her I want absolutely zero contact between her and anyone else in my household. In other words, I’ve decided that for the sanity of myself and my immediate family, I am cutting my mother off. Usually, this isn’t a good idea, but when a parent is a proven abuser, either mentally or physically, and they’ve been given countless opportunities to change, there comes a time when you have to stop making excuses for them and giving them second chances and just tell them to go to hell. This is where I’m at. I’m just done with it and I’m done with her. I don’t need her toxicity in my life, and living 1300 miles away from all of my family has proven that I can survive without needing them to hold my hands and help me out all of the time.
This isn’t an easy decision; I’ll be completely honest. It hurts, but I know that if I want to stop being pulled into all of the drama, I have to cut out the people who cause it. I’ll miss my mother, and all of the times she was actually a nice person to be around. I mourn the lost relationship between her and my child. However, unless I want this cycle of abuse to continue with him, I have to put a stop to it myself. Maybe when she loses everyone close to her, she’ll hit rock bottom and get help to change her ways. Until then, I won’t allow her to be a part of our lives. She causes a lot more hurt for us than she does happiness.
I hope my readers have an amazing 2016, and I wish the best for all of you! Remember, it doesn’t matter who the toxic person is in your life. You deserve better. This is my little life lesson from 2015.
Yesterday, I did something extremely stupid! On the scale of 1-10 of most stupid food-related antics I’ve ever pulled, this is right up there at a 10! Looking back, I can’t believe how completely moronic I was, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I paid for it the rest of the day.
I sat down to catch up on the “I Am Cait” show on E! If you’re even a little interested in Caitlyn Jenner or transgender rights, I highly recommend this. It’s honestly nothing like the brain-melting dumbness that is “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”. It’s on a whole other, completely real level. Anyway, I was watching the latest episode that came out this past Sunday, and at the end she’s eating this “very sour” pickle. That got me craving pickles, so I raided the almost-empty pickle jar in our fridge and shared them with my child.
Then, a while later, I got a sweet craving, and my go-to fix for a sweet tooth is a PB&J sandwich. I made one up, and happily munched away while watching the latest episode of “Real Housewives of Orange County” (really, my only guilty TV pleasure as far as trash programming is concerned.) When I was through with my sandwich, I decided that only milk would do to wash it down, because you know how peanut butter likes to ball up and sort of sit in your esophagus.
OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! That was such a mistake! At first, I felt fine. I was doing great! I didn’t have the munchies and I was content to continue going about my day. And then, a couple of hours later, the consequences hit me like a mountain of bricks right in the gut! I had such bad cramps for a good hour before it finally decided to start actually doing something productive on my visits to the almighty porcelain throne! The agony! It was sheer, unadulterated hell in my colon! I felt like I had swallowed a grenade!
The rest of my day, all evening, was shot. I felt sick like I haven’t felt in a very long time. Thankfully, I had the makings for a meal in our fridge that my husband knew how to make, so he got the honors of fixing dinner for himself and the kiddo, while I worshipped the porcelain throne and nursed my poor, sore belly. I was in so much pain all night! I can definitely say I paid dearly for my food choices yesterday! It definitely was not worth it!
So, whatever you do, don’t ever eat that combination of foods, unless you’re a complete glutton for punishment, because you WILL regret it!
The weather has been gorgeous this past week here! I’ve had our windows wide open and the air conditioner off. It’s been so nice! The nights have been cool, bordering on chilly, and the days have been just barely warm! I’m loving this weather! But, it’s supposed to start warming up again here today. They said we have a heat wave coming and by Sunday we should break 100° again. YUCK! I’m not looking forward to that! I love having my windows open and just enjoying the breeze and cool, comfortable temperatures.
My son goes back to school again in two weeks. I took him shoe shopping yesterday and then surprised him with lunch at Chipotle. We don’t eat out that often, and when we do, it’s usually a case of grab-it-and-bring-it-home rather than just sitting down and enjoying it. I like Chipotle because, besides the fact that their food tastes amazing, I don’t really have to worry about what’s in it. I mean, don’t get me wrong! I have my junk food moments, but I try to make sure we eat healthy and don’t consume a lot of super-awful foods. That’s probably why I cringe so hard when my kiddo asks for a Chicken McNuggets kid’s meal, because I know how god-awful the ingredients in that is! But, you’re only a kid once, and what would a childhood be without the occasional McNugget dipped in Ranch?!
I’m guessing that I’ll probably be able to get back to posting more regularly once my spawn hits the books again! It’s so hard to keep him busy while at the same time sitting down for a little quiet time to gather my thoughts and pound out a blog post. He keeps me on my toes, and more times than not I am left wondering where the hell he finds all that energy for his little body! I have also come to cherish my alone-ness when he’s in school and the husband is at work. It wasn’t always this way, because back when the recession first hit, my husband lost his job and didn’t have one for a few years. With myself at school full-time and him at home taking care of our child, pretty much the only alone time I had was on my drives to and from campus. So, being alone at home was pretty much foreign to me, and wasn’t necessarily an idea I relished. But, I’ve come to love it and appreciate the solitude.
We’ve been video-chatting with my husband’s aunt in Switzerland on an every-other-weekend basis lately. It’s kind of cool to watch my husband slowly become reacquainted with his lost mother tongue. He’s spoken English for so long now that he finds it very difficult to communicate in French. I do have to say, though, that as the time goes on during the conversations, you can notice a difference in how easy it is for him to respond and speak. He usually starts out the conversations very jerky and having to grasp for words, but toward the end he’s speaking more fluently. I, on the other hand, have such a limited vocabulary in that language that I’m still pretty much stuck asking him to translate what I want said.
I recorded a video on my iPhone on the drive home from taking my husband to work of me trying to get my son to sing along and dance along to the music playing on my iPod. My child was being somewhat comical and refusing to play along, but overall I thought it was a pretty amusing clip, so I uploaded it to YouTube as a private video to share with my husband’s aunt, since she doesn’t know myself or our child very well, and doesn’t have Facebook. It was a “home video” of us enjoying a drive while listening/singing along/dancing along to music. I had sent her a link to it after uploading it yesterday, and kind of left it at that. This morning, I got up and checked to see if she’d seen it, and she replied that she was unable to view the video. As it turns out, the video got flagged for DMCA violations and restricted on YouTube. I was pissed. It’s a freakin’ home movie and falls squarely under Fair Use doctrine. But, whatever. I can’t get it to work on YouTube now, and it’s pretty much spoiled the novelty of a cutesy little car video, so I removed it. The whole point in uploading it was to share it with only her anyway, and since that cannot be achieved, I just said FUCK IT! I yanked it down off YouTube. There’s no point in leaving it there if the one person who was supposed to be allowed to see it can’t. But, I’m still pretty upset about that. I learned way back in one of the first political science courses I took in college that the laws of this country are always written to protect and benefit corporations and never private citizens. Kudos! They’ve struck again!
So, fuck Universal Music Group and Sony Music Entertainment. You guys can go die in a bag of herpes infested rat dicks!
Summer, I guess. It got hot here. We’ve had some rather unusual weather, and it’s been totally kicking my ass pretty much the whole time. My man-child also got out of summer school, so I’ve been handling him all day, as well. I completely forgot about my little blog in the process, and neglected it.
I’ve been pretty busy around here, and for some insane reason, I’ve been sleeping a whole lot, too. I don’t understand why, but I just cannot get through an entire day without taking a nap unless I sleep in until 11 AM, and that’s only possible on weekends. I don’t understand it. I don’t feel particularly shitty in any way I can actually name, but I’ve just felt so exhausted by 1 PM. I don’t know if it’s just a phase with my Fibromyalgia or what, but it’s getting to the point I’m getting seriously annoyed over it. I don’t really feel like I have the time to take naps, but I can’t get away with not taking them either, lately. If this is still going on by the time my kiddo goes back to school at the end of this month, I’ll probably book an appointment with my doctor to see what she has to say about it.
My mother is going to be moving out here around the first of October. She’s pretty much just done with Texas and wants to come out here. We also could use an extra set of hands for our child, since he’s disabled and takes more “handling” than the average nine year-old. The plan, as it stands now, which is constantly changing because my mother can never make up her mind, is for her to come stay with us for a couple of weeks and find a new job out here and then we’ll all move into a 3/4 bedroom house, since that will be the best idea all-around for all of us. We lived with my mother for a little over a year back in Texas, so it isn’t going to be a new experience, and since she’s starting to get older and still works full-time, she’s finding it harder to keep up on her own place by herself. Also, having her live with us will provide the benefit of extra care for our child and will make it easier for my mother to transition to living in a huge city. We’ll also be splitting all bills such as rent, utilities, and groceries, so hopefully, all of us will be able to put a little more away and create more of a nest egg for ourselves. I think that, with the right boundaries put into place and the right understanding between her and ourselves, this can be a very good set-up for all of us.
She keeps wanting to rent a big U-Haul and bring a bunch of stuff out with her, and I keep trying to tell her that it would just be cheaper for her to have a huge garage sale and sell everything and then go buy all new stuff once she gets here. That’s what we did. We spent maybe a little more than $2000 total to furnish our place out here, and the way we had all of the expenses figured, we’d have spent a lot more than that to haul it all out here and store it and then move it into our new place. She’s so determined to bring things like her treadmill out, though! And she’s headstrong, so if she doesn’t make the decision not to drag it out here herself, then it will be coming.
So, I’ve been perusing all of the available rental listings for our area. We’ve found a few houses that we’re interested in, but for whatever reason, once we drive by we find things we don’t like about them. At least we have a couple of months to do this, so there’s no rush to settle on the first thing and not get what would work the best for us. Ideally, we’d like to find a house with central A/C (no, not every house out here has that!) and a back yard with grass and a covered patio. Since most of the year, the weather is mild here, spending time outside is actually feasible, and my child has always wanted a place with a yard to play in.
That’s what I’ve been up to, lately. Busy and very exhausted.
I have been pretty busy this past week, and I’m still trying to catch up on my rest from a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been so exhausted! I think because I went all out with celebrating my husband’s birthday and Father’s Day, my body has decided that it wants a vacation. I can’t remember the last time I’ve slept this much! It feels good, but I also know that when I’m sleeping, nothing is getting done! It’s a no-win situation.
I’m just going with the flow right now. I figure that I should probably listen to my body, and if it’s saying I need a break, then I shouldn’t push myself too far. I don’t want to end up doped up on pain relievers and laying in bed because I didn’t. That would be more shitty than just getting a little done here and there!
Fibromyalgia just sucks! It literally sucks. It sucks the energy out of your body when you most need it. I wouldn’t personally wish this on anyone. If you have it, you know what it’s like. I think that the best way to handle it is to pay attention to the signals your body and brain are sending and don’t try to override them. I’m not good at this, because when something needs to be done, I just want to do it and get it over with. I get very annoyed with myself when I can’t. Then, I start finding more stuff that needs to be done, and nit-picking at things I don’t feel I got done right. The next thing I know, I’m pushing myself to do all of it, and I find myself totally overwhelmed.
So, this week I’m going to just try to focus on feeling better. If I don’t post much, it’s probably because I’m taking a lot of naps.
Today, I’m going to break from my normal WTF Friday. Today is a very important and special day. Today the Supreme Court ruled that ALL marriage is constitutional, and to deny the right to marry to the people of the LGBTQ community is illegal. This is a big deal to me, because I have friends who are gay, and this means they can no longer be denied this.
I’m not gay. I AM an ally. I support my friends who are affected by this. I am excited and elated for them. I want to break out the party streamers and whistles and throw a huge celebration for them! I am stoked that they are now considered my equal.
I got to personally break the news to one of my LGBTQ friends on Facebook this morning, and I could feel her excitement through her responses. I wanted to cry because I was so happy for her! Her wife is at work, and she called her to tell her the news, and she got on Facebook, too, to share in the celebration. I hope they know how much being able to share this experience with them, even through the internet, means to me.
It gives me so much pride to be able to say that I supported this and it finally happened. I want all of my friends who are LGBTQ to know that today is about them, and I feel like a proud mama standing on the sidelines cheering them on while they celebrate this huge accomplishment. It gives me more joy than I can even express!