I don’t normally shop at Walmart. I usually avoid it like the plague. Since moving to Southern California, I’ve had a heap of bad experiences at the local Walmarts, and couple those with the fact that Walmart is just about the shittiest corporation and employer on the planet, I choose to go elsewhere for my groceries.

Yesterday, since I was feeling so crappy, I took a long nap and got up to go grocery shopping around 12:30. I decided to go to Walmart, because I didn’t want to have to go to several different stores for all my groceries like I normally do. Plus, I needed things like Dawn dish soap and SOS pads, so I figured it would be easiest to just grab everything at Walmart, instead of running through three or so different stores.

I was minding my own business, navigating my cart down all of the aisles to grab the various items I needed, when who did I run into but my husband’s ex-wife. Ugh! Some days, it feels as if there’s no escaping the woman! She is everywhere! While it’s amusing to see her pathetic self walking 2-3 miles to work every morning, it isn’t so amusing to run into her in the supermarket, when you’re dressed in your frumpy sweat pants and a comfortable T-shirt because you feel like shit.

I know the look that says, “I’m trying really hard to act like I didn’t notice you!” when I see it. She had it written all over her face. Whereas I will look someone in the eye and waggle and eyebrow or possibly smile at them if I recognize them, she was trying her best to pretend she didn’t see me. I couldn’t help but laugh when she hauled ass down the main action alley of the grocery section toward checkout after running into me. I guess her past can’t seem to stop popping up and saying hi to her, but it’s also slightly annoying for me, as well. One of these times, when I run into her, I’m just going to walk up and give her a bear hug and act like she’s my long lost best friend. I know it would be truly horrifying on her part, but it would make me extremely satisfied to make her uncomfortable while being as sweet as rotten honey to her.

I texted my husband after the encounter. When I picked him up from work, the first words out of his mouth were, “So I hear you and my ex-wife got acquainted in Walmart today!” HAH!

Dear Former:

I don’t know why I get such a kick out of seeing you every morning. It’s like a sick, twisted pleasure of mine. I think I’m slightly sadistic like that, but at least my sadism isn’t really causing anyone else pain. It’s just something I take a strange joy in.

As you walk down the street, I giggle. Wow! You really kicked yourself in the balls, didn’t you? You had a decent life at one point. Why’d you go and fuck it up like that? What made you think you’d be better off this way? You’re stuck with only your own two feet as transportation, now. You had a great husband and you guys were at least living decently. Now, you’re 50-something and living with your mother, again.

That sex must really have been worth it, to give up a solid marriage and destroy your life and his for. What? You thought you could fool everyone by saying he was the one cheating?! People know he’s not like that! And, did you really think he wouldn’t find out? I hope it was mind-blowing.

You broke his heart. I hope it breaks yours every day when you walk past and see him with his child waiting on the school bus. Does it burn you like no other that you never had a child with him, but he’s got one with me? Maybe, instead of fabricating a couple miscarriages to make him feel sorry for you, you should have figured out why you’re not ACTUALLY conceiving with him, but I digress. It’s better that way. At least he doesn’t have to worry about supporting your spawn now that you spread your legs for another man and walked out on him.

Does it make you at least a little jealous that I’m more than half your age, and he’s happier with me than he ever was with you? I know you can tell he’s happier. He looks happier. I’ve seen pictures of him from the years you guys were married. He looked stressed, overworked, and tired. Now? He’s more relaxed. Yes, he’s got more on his plate with us, but at least he doesn’t have to worry about me constantly fabricating outlandish stories to garner people’s sympathy and at least he doesn’t feel he has to stick up for a known liar.

So, keep walking past every morning. I enjoy it. It makes me giggle, even if I’m not showing it on the outside. We can tell you’re not happy every time you look at him and our son. That look of utter dismay and shock the first time you realized who he was told us all we needed to know.

The only thing I wish is that just one night I could be a fly on the wall for your dinnertime conversations. I bet what I’d hear would be EPIC!

This post is in response to the Daily Prompt.