Movie Review: San Andreas

Last night, we wanted to do a pizza and movie night, and I had seen San Andreas advertised on HBO, so I thought, “Why not?” Let me just get this out of the way at the beginning… Why not? Well, because it sucks, that’s why!


I’ve never been a huge fan of The Rock. He’s just never appealed to me that much. The only thing he has going for him is his massive biceps. He’s just a shitty actor. That’s my opinion. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a movie where he did a stellar job acting. He’s just a better visual prop than anything else.

The very first thing I had beef with in the movie was the unrealistic choice of actors to portray his family. Since he is clearly a mixed-race guy, his children should reflect that, right? The woman they chose to play his wife in this movie was also clearly mixed, so WHY IN THE SEVEN BLAZING HELLS was the girl chosen to play his daughter oh so very white?! I’m not trying to throw the race card out there. It’s just that when you see a guy with obviously African-American features and a woman with clearly some Hispanic and some African features, wouldn’t you assume a child they produced would have genetic features that represent both of their biologies? It irritated me that it didn’t mesh.

The stunts The Rock pulled in the helicopter at the beginning of the film, when they were rescuing that girl out of her car dangling on the side of the cliff also weren’t anywhere near realistic. As a person with a family member who pilots helicopters on rescue missions, I can say with absolute certainty that A) the helicopter can’t do that, and B) the pilot wouldn’t attempt that. It’s both dangerous and impossible at the same time, not to mention that hovering a helicopter above a vehicle dangling on the side of a sheer cliff is the perfect way to knock that vehicle loose and kill the person they’re attempting to rescue. It wouldn’t be done like that.

Los Angeles might sit in a seismically active area, but I’m pretty sure even a 9 or 10 magnitude earthquake would not topple our skyscrapers the way the movie portrayed. Heavily damage them yes, but topple them, no. In fact, I could be wrong here, but I believe every high-rise in Downtown Los Angeles has been retrofitted to withstand strong earthquakes, so while they may crack and crumble a bit, they will still be standing when the earthquake is over. I’m sure the same can also be said for San Francisco.

As to the tsunami portrayed in the movie, that shit is so fucking laughable. First off, let’s talk about that large cargo ship. I don’t know how widely known this fact is, but those containers on cargo ships aren’t just stacked on top of each other. They’re also bolted to the deck of the ship. They’re not just going to tumble off the deck like loose Legos. Secondly, how the hell do you steer a boat on a dime at full throttle when you’re going pretty much vertical? I’d love if someone could answer that for me. Thirdly, I highly doubt a tsunami triggered by an earthquake on the San Andreas fault would be high enough in San Francisco to place a cruise liner in Downtown San Francisco. Lastly, it would be damn near impossible to drive a boat through debris-strewn water like they portrayed The Rock doing without completely destroying both the boat and the engine on the back.

Honestly, I wanted so badly to like this movie and I sat down expecting to do just that, but it became clear pretty early into it that I was going to be nitpicking it for it’s laughably awful and impossible scenes. I’m sorry guys, but this movie was horrible! I’m glad I watched it for free with my HBO Now subscription, because renting/buying it would have been a very bad decision. It’s not worth the money they put into producing this very bad piece of shit film.



Today, I’m going to break from my normal WTF Friday. Today is a very important and special day. Today the Supreme Court ruled that ALL marriage is constitutional, and to deny the right to marry to the people of the LGBTQ community is illegal. This is a big deal to me, because I have friends who are gay, and this means they can no longer be denied this.


I’m not gay. I AM an ally. I support my friends who are affected by this. I am excited and elated for them. I want to break out the party streamers and whistles and throw a huge celebration for them! I am stoked that they are now considered my equal.

I got to personally break the news to one of my LGBTQ friends on Facebook this morning, and I could feel her excitement through her responses. I wanted to cry because I was so happy for her! Her wife is at work, and she called her to tell her the news, and she got on Facebook, too, to share in the celebration. I hope they know how much being able to share this experience with them, even through the internet, means to me.

It gives me so much pride to be able to say that I supported this and it finally happened. I want all of my friends who are LGBTQ to know that today is about them, and I feel like a proud mama standing on the sidelines cheering them on while they celebrate this huge accomplishment. It gives me more joy than I can even express!

WTF Friday – 6/19/2015

It’s Friday again! Yay! I’ve been a busy bee this week, but I haven’t forgotten about my blog. I’ve come across some truly astounding shit this week, and I’ve kept it for today.

1) Scotland’s National Animal
11401570_926183344110857_5143236092039137180_nHave you seen this picture on social media? Were you curious enough to go look up the answer? I did. I think it’s sufficient to say I was pretty floored by it. I’m not going to spoil it by giving it away here, but I think you’ll get a good laugh if you look it up yourself! I was giggling hysterically! WTF Scotland?

2) T-Rex Prank

I would have been shitting major bricks here! I bet there were plenty of people in those elevators saying, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

3) Ray Comfort needs to STFU!
Screen Shot 2015-06-19 at 9.37.15 AMI had a serious WTF moment over this! I mean, OH YEA! We totally hate the invisible sky daddy we don’t even believe exists! Just like we hate Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and all those other imaginary creatures! Actually, no. Of course, just a few hours later, I came across this excellent article about why Christians are so damn terrified of atheists. Hint: our existence forces them to think about death in uncomfortable ways. That what-if scenario is very unwelcome in their minds. WTF Ray?! Just STFU!

4) Texas has decided to start hoarding their own gold and minting their own coins
Just when I thought shit couldn’t get any weirder in my home state, they had to go and top everything with this ridiculous new law that establishes a gold bouillon depository in Texas that is exempt from all Federal oversight and laws. I read about this and just wanted to pound my head against my desk a thousand times! Just watch! I bet you they’re actually gearing up to try to secede. They’re just crazy enough there that I wouldn’t put it past them. Their insanity is unrivaled. WTF Texas? Quit being so fucking crazy! You’re embarrassing me!




WTF Friday – 6/12/2015

Hey, hey, heeeeeeey! So, it’s Friday, and that means it’s time for another “WTF Friday”, and I have a few things that have been causing me to face-palm this week. Let’s get started!

1) This guy?
I’ve been digging a little on this guy ever since one of my friends shared this video on my Facebook feed. He also made the news in a hilarious way! I’m not sure if he’s a crossdresser for real or just out to get attention, or if he’s a drag queen, but his “style” is so over-the-top that I just want to bust a gut every time I see him! I hope this is just for shits and grins, because if he’s trying to look serious, then he really needs to find a girl to teach him how to do his eyebrows and false lashes and how not to get concealer or foundation all over them! I’d even offer my assistance, even though I’m not a pro. But, what the fuck dude?!

2) How people in other parts of the world view us Americans

So, apparently people stereotype us by our accent, the fact that we’re all chubby, we always eat at McDonalds, etc. Wow! Okay, then! WTF?

3) Lindsey Graham

Okay, first off I’d like to preface this with the obvious fact that it seems like Lindsey Graham is the only person in America who won’t admit he’s gay! He’s so deep in his closet that he’s in freakin’ Narnia! I wish for just one minute he’d own it. There’s nothing wrong with being gay, but I have absolutely zero respect for a person who refuses to openly acknowledge something this blatantly obvious. It’s kind of ridiculous!

So, this weirdo decided to answer questions about the fact that if he became president, we’d have no first lady, with the totally not-awkward response, “I’ve got a lot of friends. We’ll have a rotating first lady.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Wow, dude! My only response to that is a huge WHAT THE FUCK?! Wasn’t he one of the Senators trying to get Clinton’s head on a spike in the 90’s?

4) White Trash Beatdown in Walmart
Surely you’ve seen the videos of the two women in a brawl in a Walmart by now.

The mother of the child involved in this altercation was the lady in the black shirt and pants. She was interviewed by a local radio station, and said her kid was a great child and goes to a Christian school. Excuse me while I have a choking fit about how little “Christian” was actually on display here! Seriously, lady?! You’re going to say your kid is an angel? Look at the role model he has in you! What the fuck are you thinking?!

WTF Friday – 6/5/2015

A lot has gone on since my last WTF Friday, so I’m trying to cull my selection down a little bit, and keep it mostly current. I’ve got a lot of things to choose from, though, but I want to keep it to just a handful.

1) The fucking Duggars!
I believe I’ve mentioned that I grew up in an ultra-fundamentalist background, right? Most people have seen the Duggars. Pretty much all of their beliefs were how I was raised. One of my sisters was also molested by someone in our church. So, it comes as no surprise, to me at least, that Josh can’t keep his hands to himself! I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard about men who seem to think women are their objects, to molest and degrade as they please. It comes with the territory! When you have a super-patriarchal mindset, one where women are seen as subservient and should be submissive at all times, it just breeds rapists, child molesters, and general creepsters!

I’m not going to post videos of the Duggars. I don’t like them and I won’t give them any sort of platform on my blog. They are everything they claim they aren’t, and I despise them. What floors me the most, though, is how they go around the country condemning LGBTQ+ people for wanting to be themselves, when those LGBTQ+ are hurting NO ONE, and then we find out that Josh has wandering hands that he can’t keep out of his own sisters’ skirts. I can’t be the only person who sees something majorly wrong here! And don’t get me started on Ma and Pa Duggar, who seem to think it’s more important to protect their criminal, child-molester son than it is to protect their daughters who he victimized. Don’t leave me alone in a room with those two pieces of shit! What the fuck is wrong with these people?!

2) Donald Trump

This waste of skin seems to think he deserves to be president because he owns a Gucci store worth more than Mitt Romney. I’m being totally serious! He’s just about the worst person on this planet, but hey! He owns a Gucci store, so that totally qualifies him to be “leader of the free world”, whatever that means, nowadays! I can’t stand Donald Trump. Every time I see his picture, I wish someone would super-glue his lips shut. His voice is like nails on a chalkboard. If he disappeared tomorrow, you wouldn’t catch me shedding a solitary tear for him. Seriously! WTF Donald?

3) This…

Citrus Crossing

There’s actually a news story to go with this picture, though. I just happened to find myself pretty much in the middle of it, last night. Dumbass flashed his handgun at police and then tried to run from them. Thankfully, this all pretty much happened at the shopping center across the street from where I was standing when I took this photo, or I’d have never been able to get in there! It was hard enough, as it was, because they had 2 streets closed down, and I ended up having to turn around and take a back street into the rear of the shopping center.

But, what the fuck possessed this guy?! You have to be a complete moron to think that brandishing your gun in front of a cop is a smart thing to do! Knowing how trigger-happy our cops are, you should drive like a sweet old lady every time you spot one.

WTF Friday – 1/16/2015

This week’s WTF moments are inspired by and because of recent current events. I’ve curated a few things I found more than slightly ironic, and I’d love to share them with all of you. So, let’s get started, shall we?

1) Le Petit Journal vs. Fox News

This past week, the French version of our John Stewart took Fox News to task over their lies about “no-go zones” inside Paris. He had contacted the American faux news channel regarding this dubious information, and they had the audacity to tell him he didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. Yea, Americans told a Frenchman he didn’t have a clue about his own country! What. the. fuuuuuuuck?! Needless to say, I laughed my ass off at this. I found it extremely hilarious!

2) Why is it a big deal when people come out as homosexual?

I commend these young men. They were very brave to post this video, as it was very personal and looked extremely difficult. With that being said, I’d just like to know why we as a culture can’t get to a point where kids no longer feel they will be abandoned if they let people know they aren’t straight. I know this is a rhetorical question, but why do kids have such a fear they will be abandoned by their parents when they tell them about this part of them? I don’t understand why we are so anti-homosexuals as a nation, that kids are abandoned, abused, and mistreated because they don’t fit the heterosexual mold we think they should squeeze themselves into. To each their own, right?

3) White guy shoots black police chief three times and doesn’t get arrested.

Have you seen this gem from Oklahoma?! I just have no words to describe how flabbergasted I am regarding this.




WTF Friday – 1/9/2015

I’m going to take this iteration of WTF Friday to discuss the Paris terror attacks some more. I’m not really feeling much in the way of humor today, so I’d like to reflect on what our fellow humans are feeling in Europe as these events continue.

First, I’d like to send my thoughts to the extremely large European Arab/Muslim community. I know these people committing these terrible crimes aren’t representative of the larger population. Though some will point the finger at Arabs and Muslims (there’s a difference, as not all Arabs are Muslim, so let’s clear that up right now!) I’d like to point out that I do not believe this. I know there are many scared Arabic people in Europe right now, and I’d even venture to say they’re just as terrified as the white Europeans, if not more so. Please, don’t let this tear you apart. You have just as much of a right to hold your head high as anyone else does. Even though people will claim Islam is based on a book of extreme violence, I’d like to remind everyone that so is Christianity. All religions have skeletons in their closets.

Next, I’d like to send my condolences to the wider European community, as they mourn the losses experienced over the past several days. This too, shall pass. I can only hope that happens sooner rather than later, because this has got to be the roughest situation to be caught up in the middle of. I can’t even imagine, and I’m not sure I want to.

So, what the fuck?! Why? Why do people seem to think that anything is worth killing over? How do we get to a point as a society or a culture, where the only answer is extreme violence against innocent people? Why can’t people learn to solve their problems without killing each other over it? I don’t understand this! I don’t know if I’ll ever understand this.

Stromae has a powerful song I feel is very fitting for this whole situation. I think everything boils down to respect.

WTF Friday – 10/24/14

By popular demand, here is my first iteration of a new regular feature called WTF Friday.

Last night, we (my husband and I) were helping our son with his homework. We got to the math page, and it had a symbol like this: FunnyMathSymbol

It said to find this and then find the sum (now I drew this symbol from memory, so it may not be exactly correct.) I looked at it and said, “What the fuck is this shit?!” After looking over his math paper, and finding nothing that explained the symbol, and after asking my child what it meant and not getting anything beyond, “I don’t know…” I wrote a little note to the teacher.

“Dear Teacher:
If you want us to be able to help our child with his math homework, could you please AT LEAST explain what these ridiculous symbols mean? They aren’t even a part of College Algebra! Thanks!”

Later on, my husband was helping our child with some other math problems, and he was trying to remember something he calls la preuve par neuf, or proof by nines. I’ve never heard of this, but apparently, it’s a handy-dandy little way his dad taught him to come to an answer for certain multiplication problems. He showed me this video:

That’s my first WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK?! I should also note, here, that I suck at math.

Anyway, I started looking it up, and the closest thing I could find is this video from Khan Academy:

I’m still scratching my head…

The other what the fuck I had was that while my husband was watching that first video, he made the remark, “That guy’s from Paris.” Huh? So I asked him how he knows. He said his voice sounds funny, and apparently, to the Swiss, Parisians have funny-sounding voices. It’s not so much an accent. The only Francophones with notable accents are Québécois French, according to my husband. Also, it should be noted that no European Francophone likes the Canadian French!

So, I posted on my Facebook, asking all of his Swiss friends if they could help explain it, because it seems to be something that is taught in Europe. I’ve never heard of it, and I never learned it here in the States. They were just as clueless as I am!


Last night, after the kiddo had gone to bed, I was piddling around on Facebook, and a notification popped up that someone had applied to the “closed” Facebook group I’m an admin of. I clicked over to check them out, because we vet everyone who enters to keep the trolls and spammers at bay, and the woman’s name was, I kid you not, Jane Dough!

AHAHAHAH! That’s a funny one there, but we don’t knead you! WTF?! Not only that, but she was dressed very oddly in her profile photo, almost like it was staged and satirical. I couldn’t help but make the o.O eyes at my screen when I saw it.

Have you seen this story? A woman got stabbed to death at a swap meet here in Southern California over a parking spot. A parking spot?! Seriously? First off, I wouldn’t ever get out of my vehicle for anyone, I don’t care who they think they are, and secondly, a parking spot is such a stupid thing to get killed or kill someone over! WTF?

However, that does bring up a hilarious video I saw a couple of weeks ago. This lady in China knows how to do it right!